Oasis Covenant Fellowship

Book Review by Nathan WilliamsMany people have read J.C. Ryle’s incredible little book A Call to Prayer. Perhaps not as many people have read Ryle’s equally important little book entitled The Duties of Parents. Easily read in one sitting, this short book brings incredible insight to those who desire to parent according to biblical principles.

Ryle begins the book by explaining the biblical command to train up children in the way they should go. He says people rarely followed this command during his day and this failure was a serious omission. Many parents act like hypocrites. They can quickly point out wrong in the parenting decisions of others, but fail to recognize their own shortcomings. Ryle understands parenting to be one area in which we all desperately need the insight of other believers. Our own judgment proves far to flimsy and our own prejudices far to strong.

The bulk of the book is made up of sixteen hints about the right training of children. Ryle expresses the purpose of his book by saying, “Be very sure, if you would train children for heaven, they are hints that ought not to be lightly set aside.” (p. 3) Considering that this book was written in the 1800’s, the hints which Ryle gives are supremely beneficial, even to today’s reader.

Sound theology forms the foundation for the hints offered. For example, the first hint offered tells the reader; “If you would train your children rightly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way that they would.” (p. 3) By pointing out the difference between should and would, Ryle highlights the natural bent of man to sin. Parenting must operate within the framework of a biblical view of sin. Children must be trained in the pattern of life in which they should go, because if left to the way in which they would go, they would plunge deeper and deeper into sin.

The placing of this hint first shows us the importance of understanding the doctrine of depravity and how it will affect our parenting. Raising children to the glory of God cannot be something done haphazardly. Because children are born already walking on the road to destruction, our parenting must be done with purposeful passion to point them toward the cross.

Ryle goes on to give fifteen more hints which can each be meditated on and applied in a variety of ways. Here are some of the other hints which are given throughout The Duties of Parents. Hint number three says, “Train your children with an abiding persuasion on your mind that much depends upon you.” (p. 6) Number seven instructs, “Train them to habits of diligence, and regularly about public means of grace.” (p. 14) And hint number nine says, “Train them to a habit of obedience.” (p. 19) Ryle gives each hint, explains what each one means, then challenges parents to practice the principle he has just expounded.

The Duties of Parents provides basic but timeless instruction to parents seeking to walk in obedience to the Lord. I believe this small book will stimulate parents to remember what they are responsible to be doing in the process of raising children. Ryle states each hint simply and profoundly in a way which will capture the attention and encourage obedience. Here are some instructive quotes from the book:

“As a minister, I cannot help remarking that there is hardly any subject about which people seem so tenacious as they are about their children. I have sometimes been perfectly astonished at the slowness of sensible Christian parents to allow that their own children are in fault, or deserve blame. There are not a few persons to whom I would far rather speak about their own sins, than tell them their children had done anything wrong.” (p. 2)

“Remember children are born with a decided bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong.” (p. 3)

“Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart.” (p. 4)

“Try hard to keep up a hold on your child’s affections. It is a dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you.” (p. 6)

“We depend, in a vast measure, on those who bring us up. We get from them a colour, a taste, a bias which cling to us more or less all our lives.” (p. 7)

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls.” (p. 8 )

“Idleness is the devil’s best friend.” (p. 22)

“Instruction, and advice, and commands, will profit little, unless they are backed up by the pattern of your own life. Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish them to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel.” (p. 30)

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